In Arranged Marriages Parents take the initiative and Horoscope Matching plays a vital role. I have been advocating people against Horoscope Matchings for over a decade explaining the negative consequences in detail. I am happy many have changed. But still it is a long way to go! Let us discuss the issue in detail.
Horoscope Matching is not a guarantee for success in Wedded Life at all! Many such Marriages breakdown after Nischayadartham or after Marriage. Even when the Family life is continued, Happiness is not ensured in many cases. On the other hand, many Marriages do take place without such Matchings and most of them are highly successful too.
As you would have experienced No Two Doctors agree, No Two Lawyers agree and No Two Astrologers ever agree though both may be Experts. Mambalam Astrologer will give 80% for Matchings and Mylapore Astrologer will reject it totally. Out of say 10 Horoscopes you select, after Filtering on Bio-Data and Photos, five will be rejected by your Astrologer and the balance five will be negatived by the Astrologer of other party and you are back to square one. In the process you lose good number of very good alliances even known to you and start regretting later.
Astrology is a Ocean and none can master it fully. There are different Schools of Thoughts in the interpretation of Basic Provisions themselves. Every Astrologer gives his views based on his limited knowledge and Experience. Hence opinions are bound to differ.
One Astrologer may go according to Star Matching. Another may focus on placement of various Grahas in Rasi and Amsam. The List of Matching Stars also will differ from Astrologer to Astrologer. Even in Star Matchings the Minimum number of Poruthams required out of 10 for clearance will differ! One may give importance for Rajju Porutham and another may insist upon Rasi Porutham and so on. The Difference is Endless!
Coming to Chevva Dosham, it is a confused and complicated area. When exchanging Horoscopes people always ask a question whether Suddha Jadhagam or Dosha Jadhagam. But the problem is, there are lot of difference of opinion exists in Dosham itself. Palghat Josier will confirm Chevva Dosham in a Horoscope. Panruti Josier will challenge there is no Dosham at all! Again calculation of Percentage of Dosham will also vary from one to another! One thing is clear! Such disputes in Doshams definitely prevent our sandhosham!
There are people who are searching for Raghu or Kethu in Lagnam or 2nd place (for similarity) for years and years! No wonder in the meantime their sons and daughters prefer inter-caste marriages giving 'relief' to their parents from further search.
Astrologers differ in their Approach and Attitude as well. They also change their views according to the needs of the situations and parties also. Instances are quite common where they would have okayed for Bride side and negatived for the Groom side for the same Horoscopes.
Just as Coffee is classified as Light, Medium and Strong, Astrologers also come under three categories. Some are very Liberal and may give Green signal for most of the Horoscopes say 8 out of 10. Some are very strict, go very deep, may approve only one out of ten. Some may fall under Middle order Category clearing 5 out of 10. Thus the fate of Matching is decided not by the Astrology but by the perception of Astrologers!
Of late we find there is a Mushroom growth of Astrologers, every one claiming to be an Expert! There is no yard stick or Mechanism to ensure their knowledge and Expertise. The more they advertise in Media, the more they become popular! The more they become popular the more they exploit in the name of Predictions and pariharams! What a pity!
I don't find fault with Astrologers because for some it is a profession! For some others it is a Hobby! They simply lend their expertise in their own way! They are not accountable for the results. It is difficult to make them accountable also. I only find fault with people who approach the Astrologers and go by their words!
Just as Astrologers, Clients also fall under three Categories. Some have very strong faith in Astrology and may be knowledgeble in the line also. They will go for in-depth Matching and even consult more than one Astrologer wherever need be. Astrologers also may have tough time in dealing with these people in answering their penetrating questions. The other extreme will be those who may not have any belief or faith but just want a clearance from some Astrologer for Mental Satisfaction. The Middle Order people do have some belief and will go by the views of their family Astrologer on whom they have the confidence. In addition to the approval of Astrologers some people may insist upon the consent of Gurujies also, on whom they have immense faith! They are 'Gurupriyas'.
In some families Father may not be keen in Horoscope Matching but Mother may have strong Belief or vice versa. In many cases, parents may go for Matchings just to satisfy the desire of their parents also!
In addition to Matchings, some people may go for long term predictions for next '100 years' of Married Life. Questions may be asked on anything and everything on the earth including character of the Bride and Groom, Santhanaprapthi, Siblings etc. For the money they are getting, Astrologer also will go on replying like a Machine in positive or negative way. The problem is, once the Astrologer opines something negatively the fate is sealed and we will not be inclined to proceed further!
I was a Banker by Profession having worked in various places in IOB for over 30 years. Now as a corporate Trainer I focus on HRD Topics like Decision Making. We never have an Astrology Counter in Bank for processing loan proposals in Lakhs and Crores. We go by set Guidelines only. Like wise we take many vital decisions in Life applying our Mind logically. But when it comes to Marriages, we become totally illogical and entrust the job to the Astrologer, who has nothing to do with our Family Matters!
Astrology is different from Astronomy. Horoscope Matching has come into prominence only in recent times. In olden days people gave importance for Family backround and character only rather than Horoscope Matchings. The decisions were not only simple but highly successful too!
Somehow Horoscope Matchings have now come to stay as a convention or practice. But in these days of late Marriages everyone develops his or her own personalty with exclusive features and they find it difficult to change themselves beyond a point. Hence what is required is Mind Matching and not Horoscope Matching! Mind Matching includes Likes, Dislikes, Values, Beliefs, Language, Culture etc.
Going by Astrologer's view is at least understandable as part of one's Belief system. But very often many of the Horoscopes get rejected by the parents themselves based on their half baked knowledge or on the basis of so called 'Ready Rackoners' listing out Uthamam, Madhyamam and Neecham! IN ADDITION, VERY MANY PEOPLE DISCARD CERTAIN STARS AS UNTOUCHABLES. WHAT HARM THEY HAVE DONE? CAN THERE BE ANYTHING MORE FOOLISH AND SINFUL THAN THIS! PLEASE PONDER OVER!
On the fundamental aspect of casting of Horoscope itself, there is lot of confusion persists. Some still follow Vakya Panchangam, whereas many opt for Thirukkanitham. There is bound to be lot of changes between the two types including the stars. The Matching also become more meaningless between the Two. Many people even change the castings from one to another or project whichever they feel is favourable! Further, instances are common where differences persist between manual casting and computerized casting and among the computerized castings themselves! I am seeing all these looties and Thamashas for years and years! God only can help!
Gurupalan is another aspect. Though it may be a favorable time, it does not mean Marriage will take place only during the time. In their anxiety people either hurry up the process or postpone indefinitely as per Astrologer's views to synchronise with Gurupalam or auspicious time! Both are equally bad! The former will lead to bad decision in haste, later will result in unwarranted delay! I think it is high time for us to give a serious thought to the entire process and eliminate all False Beliefs once for all.
Adapting to changes is not new to our Brahmin Community. Till recently we were all mainly in Agraharams and visitng aborad was a taboo warranting Jadhiprashtam. But many of our families are now in America or Major Cities! Preservation and Propagation of Veda is our main duty. But we do everything except that! Panjakacham and Kudumies are replaced by pants and cropped hair even at late 70s and 80s. Remarriages for Divorcees and Widows have become the order of the day. We accept, tolerate and even boast on Intercaste Marriages which is taking place in almost all families! Wherever it suits us we are flexible! But in respect of bidding good-bye to Horoscope Matchings which is beneficial in many ways we hesitate and even proclaim it is against our Tradition. Why?
Most of the People go for matching mainly for mental satisfaction and curiosity rather than deep belief. Seeing the realities many people want to change but unable to do so because of some hesitation or fear. It is called fear of Ridicule! "If I don't see the matchings and if some problem arises later, others may ridicule me as Adhiga Prasangi. Hence Let me play safe and get it approved by some Astrologer so that I can escape easily in case of Failure!" This fear is understandable and natural too! But is it not cowardly escapism? Please ponder over!
One interesting and good aspect about Astrology if that it is very handy for people to reject alliances safely by stating Horoscope not matching while the real reason can be something else. In that way it is very useful indeed!
This is again one area which has tremendous scope for Exploitation. I know people who have lost thousands and lakhs in the name of pariharams. Readymade chalishas and Stones are getting advertised in leading TV Channels almost daily with attractive promosises! Pariharams generally include pilgrimage to Temples, conducting Homams etc., which are no doubt, good in general. But in the name of Pariharam Every Astrologer will have his own list of places which again will differ from Astrologer to Astrologer. The Temples may often be very far off or in remote places involving lot of time and expenditure. Once you have exhausted one list and find no results other list will follow from the same Astrologer or the other Astrologer whom you choose. The journey is Endless till you get totally exhausted! I appeal to you be very cautious in proceeding with pariharams. I suggest you to visit your nearby Temples daily and give due support to your Kuladeivam Temple. Also do your prayers and poojas in Home with faith and confidence. Enjoy the pleasure of giving and serving the needy and treat everyone with love and Manithaneyam. Never hurt anyone with Words or Deeds. Be Possitive in your approach always! Good Results are bound to follow!
I have brought out all my views in detail in my Book 'Nalla Murayil Thirumanam Nadaipera' in Tamil. I have been communicating my appeal in almost all the Free Swayamwarams including the latest one held on 22/1/2012 which have been received with thunderous applause. I have shared my agony with Bala Periyaval also while presenting a copy of my Book. I reliably understand from various Quarters that Mahaperiyaval also was keen on Timely Marriage rather than postponing on Star or Jadhaga Poruthams. The well known Guruji Sri Jaggivasudev has also appealed in one of his books to come out of the clutches of Rasi and Amsa Squares and look beyond with open mind. But still we hesitate!
Following our Traditions and practice are no doubt important. But prudency involves being Flexible to changes wherever need be, in the overall interest. Please ponder over!
Already lot of delay takes place in fixation of Marriages as everyone is very choosy in their own ways. Brides are becoming lesser and lesser and not keen on getting married. The number of eligible Bachelors keen to settle down are increasing day by day, getting disappointed and frustrated over the delay. Parents, especially of Grooms, are sleepless and virtually do not know what to do. They are tired of trying one pariharam after another!
I am sure the agony can be reduced to a larger extent if we take a vow against Horoscope Matching. It is for you to decide. I have nothing to lose or gain. To start with, you can atleast leave it to other side alone, so that 50% problem will be solved!
I am not an Athiest. I have high regard for our culture and Religion as well. I know almost all leading Astrologers and I carry my respects. Many do a good job as counsellors also. But I am unable to restrain myself while witnessing these looties over years and years. I recall the old song of Mahakavi Bharathiyar "Nenju Porukkuthillaye Inda Nilaiketta Manidharai Ninainthuvittal..."
I never believe in imposing my views or hurting the sentiments. However I am confident that things will change at the earliest. If you are convinced with my views and decide in favour of bidding good-bye to Horoscope Matching kindly inform us over EMail/Phone so as to incorporate the provisions in your profile. We also intend listing such Profile Numbers separately. If not convinced or unable to decide, be guided by your Astrologer and face the delay. Choice is yours! In any case I welcome your Feedback!
Changing the Mind Set is not so easy as it is controlled by Sub-Conscious Mind. But still it is possible if we carry the conviction, courage and commitment. All the Best!
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